a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? #government. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. 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Everybodys going to save something now. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. //=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. We havent tried that for a while. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? > Quotable Quote. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. 2023 Inspirationfeed. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. - George Carlin profile quotes. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Maybe this time itll work. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. We just believed everything. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; They should be more vivid. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Nobody owns anything. apstag.init({ Quotes. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. George Carlin. October 29, 2004. Did you enjoy this article? window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { I think people should be allowed to do what they want. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. // We havent tried that for a while. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . "Never argue with an idiot. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Resources. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. }, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. "Men are from Earth,. George Carlin "The planet is fine. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. return true; 4. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. try { if (window.csa) { They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. How are YOU going to tackle today? George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. When you die, it all stays here. Ever. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. In America, anyone can become president. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Its never going to get any better. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. for(var i=0; i Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Manage Settings I love individuals. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. var cookie = cookies[i]; Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. People are wonderful one at a time. Weve added years to life, not life to years. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin profile quotes. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Teach them to question everything. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. Theres a humorous side to every situation. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show.