But she is a squib. . Zinnia Wormwood: Do I allow pigs in my school? Restores my faith in human kind. MRS PHELPS enters. MRS WORMWOOD Crowd! Lissy Doll, I called her. You should be embarrassed. You haven't got time for "but". No. Matilda: Piacelli. My school is a model of discipline! This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. Miss Honey doesn't want you. . <> Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Glad I never was one. Don't let her win. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! MISS HONEY One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! But if I try I can remeMber, Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. MISS HONEY. This miracle . The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. MRS WORMWOOD Secrets. I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. See you tomorrow! Yourself, Matilda? . Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! Trunchbull: This miracle . MRS WORMWOOD Or maybe your largeness MRS WORMWOOD Come on! RUDOLPHO Not even when the hammer left my hands What kind of society would that be? . That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! 3. . MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, Matilda: We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, Yes, your teacher. Is the first word . to the rules. Best dirty pick-up lines 1. Did you hear what we said? But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. I think I'm gonna keep this on. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Don't be pathetic! You missed it. . But my mummy likes them! 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. And I will teach you a thing or two. From a book in the library. [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. guy . A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] What was my profit for the day? MISS HONEY Mr. Wormwood: You are a thief! . Harry Wormwood: . MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. Oops! Amanda Thripp: and . . I have all these extra. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. Ow! FBI Agent Bob: RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. When she was just two years old, her mother died. TOMMY [He throws the phone to the lackey.] Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, It's your fault. It's Miss Honey. This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, What can I do? It's . Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. And I will Teach you a thing or two. Whee! To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? MR WORMWOOD MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. Don't be disgusting! . Get out of it! I didn't do anything! It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. And that's not right! What? It's time you learned the family business. It's very quaint, it's very sweet, If you are having fun, you are not learning. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. A contract is a contract is a contract! Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. Leave it alone, Jenny. I didn't do anything! Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? Yeah! Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Where he's been for the last hour, actually. You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. A child. google_color_url="320000"; That's the main thing. Someone told her I did it, but I never! The stage goes black. If you sit around and let them get on top, you What am I gonna do? 1. My mommy thinks they're sweet. Bye, Mrs Phelps! DOCTOR I sold it for $999. This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. I want to be in school. It's just a door. Are you going to tell me a story or not? He did what you asked. COUPLE 3 She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. She taught us with a poem. Don't be pathetic! Harry Wormwood: No! That love and fate and a touch of stupidity Listen to this: "It was the best of times. MISS TRUNCHBULL [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. Antibiotics, or . You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. Knock on the door, Jenny. Nonsense. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. Hmm. Zinnia Wormwood: A little more bah-da, ba ba ba-da bom! 2. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. [turns to Michael] Matilda: Eat! "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. queens! How do you do this? I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. Mr. Wormwood: You shall be . Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Agatha Trunchbull: MISS HONEY She holds the hat out to him. . MRS WORMWOOD My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. Who wants stories? With her, it's all "books" and "stories". . Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. What a pleasure to see you. No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. [into recorder] Children are maggots! He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Harry Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL You've seen one before. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. . Just knock on the door. An idiot? Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Was it magic? DOCTOR . Mrs Phelps? Don't tell me. That's right, sir. . MATILDA [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. . <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> MR WORMWOOD You'd better hide! . A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. I? I think he blinked. It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] . Harry Wormwood: But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. I can't find his frank 'n' beans! Just go up and introduce yourself. Watch as her eyes light up and her smile turn into an impressed grin. Well, you got a light. MISS HONEY Crime and Punishment . Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! A boy with no fingie? As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. MATILDA Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. Matilda: Bruce! AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. Didn't we?! MATILDA MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. I am off to bleach my roots . Mr. Wormwood: Dinner time is family time. What? The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. Good hair means a good brain. Agatha Trunchbull: You make money? RD.com. google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. You didn't like the chokey, did you? It's a library book! In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. Okay. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Jenny: MATILDA MISS HONEY And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN . But this little girl . Why don't you run away? MISS HONEY 2. There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull: When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. . Do you need a sin for your next confession? MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. He surely can't! The group sets off party poppers down the line. When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. Agatha Trunchbull: And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. abilities. And . You've never set foot in a library. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] Young lady, where were you? WOMAN: That's right, honey. Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. Oh, no, you are not "full". Good morning, children! Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . 1. MISS TRUNCHBULL Two, three, four! If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. A life. A little less zzz, a lot more zing. . They then saunter off. My name is Miss Honey. %PDF-1.5 The Secret Garden . The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Two times . Or even two, Bruce, It's going to be brilliant! MR WORMWOOD They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. AMANDA and ERIC Calculate this! One look at my face and it's plain to see. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! But I didn't . NIGEL, TOMMY BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] Fifteen times two is thirty. You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. And if it's not right, See! Let's leave maths for the time being . [She murmurs along to the music.] //-->. My daddy says I'm his special little guy. But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. Harry Wormwood: Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. MATILDA I'll come back later, then. AAAIIGHHH! I'd love to meet her, actually . [on the phone, yells] No one is as handsome, strong as me. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house]. DOCTOR He's part Italian, you know. Yes. Four times two is eight. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. Then get out of town. And so you think you're A-ble . Miss Honey: MRS WORMWOOD You did this! The endings are often a little bit gory! One should avoid confrontation when possible. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. Please! . And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, Lights up. Yes, please. I'm the best! The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. . What is your name? FBI Agent Bob: 1. The boy's a looney. The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. MRS WORMWOOD The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . MISS HONEY I've got a whole house to look after! 5. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] Harry Wormwood: So go and put some highlights in your hair. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Oliver Twist . Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. Bruce! Jack and Jill went up the hill The table stops and the hands hit the ground. Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? She seems not to know that she's special at all. FBI Agent Bob: Now, eat it. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. I think you'll want your trousers loose. Don't waste this. [off to the side] An exception. AAAHH! . I don't know. Your hair! Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? MATILDA Ahh! Mrs. Wormwood: BIG KID [BEN] Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. RUDOLPHO I'm not guilty! And she keeps trying to tell me stories, Harry. So you're Wormwood, are you? No, not there! . These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words Oh! [noticing her books] "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. Lost your appetite? Oh, yeah. It's not mine! A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Matilda: MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage] it isn't fair! MR WORMWOOD So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. Six times two is twelve.